Stephanie “Saki Sakura” Diaz continues to make an impact as a recent member of the fighting game community. In just two years she became a successful streamer, commentator, and competitor. Her perseverance in a community where women must constantly prove themselves inspires players to make the community more accessible for everyone. 

This interview follows the second episode of Women of the FGC.

Congrats on making the Top 50 in Mortal Kombat 11 at Evo Online. What was your first competitive fighting game?

It was actually Mortal Kombat 11. When MK11 came out I was really only going to play as a streamer but truly fell in love with it. Then I met some of the other ladies in the community like Infinitii and the Babeality scene. Babeality had exhibitions that weren’t essentially tournaments but would pair up other ladies with each other and they would play on stream. I got to participate in a lot of those and that helped me gain the confidence to compete in MK11. 

The time investment and difficulty to improve in fighting games can be a turn-off to newcomers. What made you want to push through?

To be honest it was actually my love for the characters. It’s also what drives me to compete in Guilty Gear. One of my biggest fears when Guilty Gear came out was that I wasn’t going to find a character that suited me. I’ve found one right now, the other one’s upcoming DLC. Anji Mito is so beautifully crafted in how he plays and his story that I fall in love with that more than just the game itself and competing. 

My trainer and best friend Herbz likes to tell me to pick up the top tiers and not struggle. I’d rather just stay with the characters I love and pray that they get buffed.

Tell me about your first tournament experience.

It’s crazy because people who were there like to remember that I was the super shy girl that could kick ass!

That and I got my butt kicked by Kitana Prime in the Jade mirror. I remembered watching him at Combo Breaker and couldn’t believe that I was playing against him! I asked him and Sylverrye, “Hey you guys aren’t going to be like Twitch chat, like making fun of me right?” They said, “No, we’re not like Twitch chat! We’ll protect you from those people.” 

I met some amazing friends that I’ve kept in contact with as well as those big-name community members. It was really important to feel that welcoming presence from veteran players. 

It’s great that the players you look up to treat you like you’re one of them, but what were some early obstacles you faced when entering the FGC?

The trolls like to say “Oh, no one cares that a woman’s in the community, just play the game,” but the reality is they do care, and not in a good way.

They want to see you fail, break down and cry, and make you feel that you don’t belong. There’s just that weird power dynamic. When you’re training to learn the game and get better, you’re dealing with the regular tournament nerves and everything that comes with competing. But when you’re a woman it’s double that pressure and double those nerves. Offline it’s even worse because you’re faced with a form of harassment that’s not healthy for your mental state. 

There were times I’ve competed and been called a casual because I’m a girl. Yet I have placements across the board from Top 8’s, Top 5’s, to Top 3’s. It’s one of the biggest obstacles as far as your confidence. You actually have to try to build strong skin to be able to deal with that. Even for me, it’s gotten to the point where I just say, ”Okay, say what you want. Wait ‘til I show you the receipts.”

What was one hardship that stood out to you when you were going through all this?

I think people don't want to stand up with you. It’s more from the other male players. One of the biggest reasons these trolls get to keep harassing women is that no one is calling them out for their BS. What ends up happening is that someone who isn’t as strong just gives up, and that stunts community growth, game lifespan, everything that the FGC stands for. It really hurts when you feel like you’re the only one fighting.

Finding your safe place in the community is arguably more important than the results. How do role models impact your aspirations in the FGC?

Seeing how Cuddle_Core handles hardships and holds herself really helps me. When people ask, “Does it ever get to you?” I’m honest and say yes it does. But I’d rather not argue with the Twitter egg and instead put all that anger and energy into getting better. When you get the results it proves they have no credibility and that shuts them up. I honestly learned that from Cuddle_Core in every sense of the way.

I feel like during the pandemic it’s actually gotten a little bit worse because now people are hiding behind the keyboard. They know no one’s going to remember the crazy stuff they said by the time we go back offline. It’s a situation that really hasn’t gotten any better despite the amount of work other women have put in. I’m literally a product of all the women that put in the work. 

In your Women of the FGC episode, you told LostyGirl about the 13-year old Saki who went through so much turmoil because there was no one like yourself that you could look up to. How would your 13-year old self feel in the current community?

Honestly, if my 13-year old self found this community my self-esteem, confidence, and feeling of belonging would have definitely been worked on at an earlier age. I was dealing with depression, anxiety, and had a couple incidents too. It really would’ve helped to know that there was something like the FGC because then I would have felt like I had a support system instead of having nobody. 

Now I go out more because I know about fighting game events. I get to meet more people and see other nerds like me. I didn’t get to see that when I was younger and it would’ve helped A LOT for my mental health if I were exposed to it earlier.

What can the FGC do better to develop as offline events return?

I’m a strong believer that no matter how good you are it doesn’t excuse your behavior. I’ve seen people who have cheated or insulted women and nobody holds them accountable. Then people question why a woman leaves and act surprised when we tell them. Then you see the same toxic person thriving at the next tournament. 

I’ve been through it both as a competitor and a tournament organizer. There’s a reason why a code of conduct exists. I think a lot of the people in the FGC don’t really look at the actions and that’s why things go past people. It shouldn’t be that way. 

How has being a woman affected how you are received on the mic?

There are a lot of people that are genuinely surprised because they think I don’t know what I’m talking about. It sucks to know that I’m being judged like a book based on its cover. I feel like it makes me lose opportunities, unfortunately, because they think I might not be as good as other commentators. But again, it doesn't stop me. 

When people act like that it just tells me that’s not the opportunity for me. So I’m going to find an opportunity that will be for me, and most of the time it tends to be really good and helps me grow better. When I’ve had issues I just focus on myself, the game, and making sure I do my very best. At the end of the day my work is going to speak for itself.

What advice do you have for women on the fence about becoming commentators?

No matter what type of feedback someone gives to you, don’t be afraid of it. Obviously, if it’s disrespectful and non-constructive, that’s a different story. But feedback is really important because without it you’ll never get better. Don’t ever look at Twitch chat when you’re commentating. All it’s going to do is make you doubt yourself. You’ll know that you did a good job because people will tell you and shout you out. 

Don’t forget to keep open doors for opportunities, and sometimes you have to actively seek them out. Don’t tell yourself you’re not really that good, because then you won’t be good. You just need practice.

How do you suggest practicing?

Streaming is the best way to practice commentating because you’re on camera, talking to a group of people, and feeling that social pressure. I’ve forced my Twitch chat to redeem channel points for me to commentate my own matches. it helps! Because you look back at those matches and can see what you could’ve said better, what you can rephrase better. 

How to join the Queen of the Hill Series

Saki Sakura and Seisaji co-founded this series designed to give women experience in a comfortable space.

“It’s not to make competition easier because that doesn’t exist,” Saki said. “These women are hardcore competitors. It’s not to separate people either. It’s literally just to make them feel safe so that they can thrive and put in their work.”

That work ranges from players to commentary. The Queen of the Hill Series gave many commentators the exposure they needed for sponsorships and appearances at major events like Combo Breaker or Evo. 

Follow both Saki and the QOTHS for sign-up links, join her Discord, and tune into Twitch for the monthly series. Their current focus is on Guilty Gear -Strive-. Streams are later uploaded to Saki’s YouTube channel.